It's a long road...

Time:8:32 AM

Everyone's life starts wif a story... i know one in particular tht is always stuck in my mine. a story abt a boy n hw his life changed dramatically n hw he questioned God n his way of doing things. This is a story about a boy. Just a plain boy. A normal person. Like you and me...

This story starts with the boy being very young. When everything was just fine and dandy for him. He was a boy with little worries and troubles. He lived his life happy and laughing. He had never once thought that anything bad will ever happen to his family. And so he was satisfied with life. He was then 5. A young boy with not a care in the world. Just a boy with loving parents and a big brother to look after him and a little one of barely a year old.

As the years pass, he grew to learn of responsibilities and work. He learned many things from doing his homework to cooking. He was 10years old. By then, he inspired to cook like his dad and tried to be a responsible boy. But he was a little lazy and often got a scolding every now and then. But he understood that it was his fault. So he tried to change. He was a boy who looked up to his dad. He wanted to show his dad that he could do great in school as well as other things. However, it was rather difficult. His older brother always did well in school and often gets praise whereas he couldn't do as well and rarely got praise. His dad always talked to him about studying hard and be better than his older brother. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do it. From that day, he promised himself that he will try his very best to beat his brother and get the praise he wanted from his dad.

Another 5 years have pass and many things happened. His dad finally got a job selling chicken rice at a coffee shop and everything looks to be better. However, his dad was stressed from the everyday bills and such. But the boy was always there for his father. Helping his dad whenever he can at the stall, or talk to his dad to help him destress. He was hoping that he can help his dad be the smiling and joking person he used to be so long ago. He and his dad shared a close bond.

It was near to the end of the year and the boy had to go to his church confirmation camp in order to be prepared to be accepted by the church. He never got to see his dad before he left that morning. The first day at camp was quite fun for him. Laughed, joked, prayed and such. He had never once thought that something bad could ever happen. Not once in his life did he ever imagined that his life was going to change so drastically.

It was the first night. 3.30 am. A timing he would never forget. He woke up at that time suddenly. He just woke up suddenly like he was having a bad dream. But he wasn't. He woke up because he felt that something went wrong, something very wrong. He brushed off the feeling as he felt stupid. Nothing was wrong right? Everything was fine. He went to sleep only to wake up two hours later. He bathe and ate breakfast with the rest. Then it was time for morning prayer.

It was a time of silence. Of peace and prayer. Where everyone offered their prayers to God and prayed that he looked after their families. The boy did that. He prayed that his family was looked after. That was all he ever prayed for. His family's safety and peace. Halfway through the prayer, a teacher called him outside the room. Something urgent has happened.

" I received a call from your mother. She told me your dad passed away. I'm sorry."
" Huh? Who passed away?" the boy did not want to believe what he had heard.
" Your father"

He broke down there and then. Never wanting to believe that this would happen. Wanting to know how it happened. The teacher gave him a letter that his mother and father wrote. It was a letter that all parents of the children in camp had to write. It was supposed to be given that night. In a room, all alone, the boy read his letter and wept.

He went home that day, to help his mother to prepare for the funeral. Why and how it happened. These were what he wanted to ask. On the way to get the body, his mother told him as his brothers already knew.

His father killed himself. Hanged himself in the balcony. The worst part, his dad regretted in the end and tried to stop himself but was too late.

This shocked the boy. There are so many things in life that he wants his dad to be there. He wanted his dad to be at his confirmation ceremony. In fact, during camp, his parents were suppose to come over at the third night for washing of feet. That was when the boy was suppose to wash the feet of both his parents to ask for forgiveness. Now the boy couldn't ask his dad for forgiveness anymore. He wanted his dad to be at his O'levels next year. To show his dad that he COULD beat his brother. But now, his whole world crashed.. He never saw his dad the day he left for camp... and now.. this will be the last time he ever sees his dad...lying in a coffin..

The boy tried to live life as the way it was. But he knows people will look at him differently if he ever told them what happened to him. The depression sinks in slowly and every now and then, he will remember and he will be sad..depressed.

The worst part hasn't been said. Before his dad hung himself, he wrote a letter. A letter which states that God is calling him to go. This caused the boy to question God and why he did such a thing. A thing so cruel that caused immense hurt to his family. Relatives said it was Satan who did it, even so, the boy question why didn't God help his dad. Why did God allowed such a thing to even happen. The boy loss all. The boy felt like dying. But the boy didn't. The boy became stronger, more cruel in his own way. Life wasn't fair.

The boy still lives. Walking in this world. Didn't really want to care much for his O's but made it through. He at least still has his mother. He fallen out with his older brother. Tries to be a better brother for his younger brother. Tries to live life as it was.

But no matter what he did, there was always something missing. A thing that nothing seems to be able to fill. Not praying, not having fun, not doing anything. Sleeping just brings a moment of peace. He sometimes dreams of his dad.

The boy stands strong but alone in heart. He wants to find someone to really understand him. But he shares his story to lessen the depression. To tell people around him that you really have to cherish those around you. Life isn't fair. People can go anytime, just like his dad.